Tuesday, November 6, 2012

What would I change

We often wonder, if I could, what would I change.  Ten years ago my dad had a heart attack followed by cardiac arrest that left him dead on the living room floor for fifteen minutes.  The EMT's arrived in 3 minutes and revived him after working furiously.  My dad spent the next six weeks in a comma in the hospital.

In a miraculous way he woke up.  The diagnosis was determined shortly thereafter, he had moderate brain damage.  It mainly affected his mid range memory.  Everything that had basically happened between his children being born and the present was very foggy to say the least.  Lots of questions and those questions were repeated often as well.

Families deal with mental disease and brain trauma in lots of ways.  For me, I was just grateful to have one more day.  So in those last ten years we have caught a few more fish, worked on my truck, saw a few more movies, entertained his grand kids and given me a few more memories.

I often wonder if the reason God let my dad comeback was for me.  I was selfish. I was and am not sure I am ready to lose him yet.  I am not sure what he got out of these last years but I am grateful and am a bit more prepared for the day that he is gone.

1 comment:

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